I'll Miss You...

Life comes and goes.
It's hard to think rationally like that
when the life that goes is someone close to your heart.

Because we were never really close
is why I feel like I haven't done my part.

For the last moments, I just wanted to see you laugh & smile again...

Seeing someone suffering,
and not being able to help is the most painful thing to feel.

At least now, you don't have to suffer anymore.

When a person is dying, I wonder, what are the thoughts fill their heads?
Their family? Their jobs? Their pain?

Appreciate everyone around you.
Don't take anyone for granted.

What I've learned from your life lived is to be strong.
You're one of the strongest fighters in the world
& I, too, will become strong so I can move on.

Bittersweet endings...
Jini

What Used to Be..

Happy Chinese New Years!
& Happy Valentine's Day.

The thing I looked forward to each Chinese New Years
isn't any red envelope with money or anything of that sort.
It was waking up in the morning, and hearing the Chinese New Year songs.

Although each year, it's the same music, same lyrics..
it was still special to me.

As each year passes, I feel as if the tradition of Chinese New Years is decaying.
The fairs aren't as lively, things don't look as red as they should..
Hell, I even painted my nails red to try to get more into the mood of Chinese New Years.

What's happening to us?
I wish things were like before, when things were more simple..

When my Grandma would take me out to the fair, & I would have the time of my life
When my parents would watch Chinese New Year shows with me
When the scariest thing to me was only firecrackers,
now I know there are far more scarier things..

These things..
even though seem so simple, are so important.
I regret the fact that I didn't appreciate them when I had them.
I regret the fact that I had to grow up,
and not realize who the important people in my life are.

I can't keep wishing and reminiscing in the past.
I need to appreciate what I have now, and try to repair broken relationships.
It's time to move on.

Anyway,
I wish you all a life of good health, great fortune, and dreams come true.

Love me ..
Jini<3